SCHEMA DOMAIN: Impaired Limits
Insufficient Self-Control / Discipline
People with this schema have a pervasive difficulty or refusal to exercise sufficient self-control and frustration tolerance to achieve one’s personal goals or to restrain the excessive expression of one’s emotions and impulses. They find it hard to learn from experiences - the negative consequences of thier behaviour. In its milder form, there is an exaggerated emphasis on discomfort avoidance: avoiding pain, conflict, confrontation, responsibility, or overexertion at the expense of personal fulfillment, commitment, or integrity.
......................SELF CONTROL: the ability to appropriately restrain one’s emotions and impulses.
......................SELF DISCIPLINE: the ability to tolerate boredom and frustration long enough to accomplish tasks.
Feelings: no specific beliefs or feelings that accompany this schema. Schema feels "out of their control".
Behaviours: Impulsivity, distractibility, disorganisation, unwillingness to persist at boring or routine tasks, intense expression of emotion (temper-tantrums or hysteria), habitual lateness, unreliability. Substance abuse ( & other addictions) may often accompany schema, but is not at crux of it (not exclusive to this schema), rather a broad range of self control problems.
Origin: Failure in childhood to bring impulsivity under sufficient control and learn self-discipline. Sometimes other problems, such as ADHD, makes it hard for a child to accomplish this.
Family of Origin: is characterized by permissiveness & lack of direction, rather than appropriate confrontation, discipline, and limits in relation to taking responsibility and setting goals. In some cases, child may not have been pushed to tolerate normal levels of discomfort, or may not have been given adequate supervision, direction, or guidance.
Entitlement / Grandiosity
The belief that one is superior to other people; entitled to special rights and privileges; or not bound by the rules of reciprocity that guide normal social interaction. Often involves insistence that one should be able to do or have whatever one wants, regardless of what is realistic, what others consider reasonable, or the cost to others; or an exaggerated focus on superiority (e.g., being among the most successful, famous, wealthy) in order to achieve power or control (not primarily for attention or approval). Sometimes includes excessive competitiveness toward or domination of others: asserting one’s power, forcing one’s point of view, or controlling the behavior of others in line with one’s own desires without empathy or concern for others’ needs or feelings.
Feelings: elite, entitled, (anger & unhappiness over the resulting negative consequences of behaviour)
Behaviours: excessive competitiveness, snobbishness, domination of other people, asserting power in a hurtful way, force one’s point of view onto others. Engage in acts of selfishness and grandiosity.
Family of Origin: is characterized by permissiveness, overindulgence or a sense of superiority, rather than appropriate confrontation, discipline and limits in relation to taking responsibility & cooperating in a reciprocal manner. In some cases, child may not have been pushed to tolerate normal levels of discomfort, or may not have been given adequate supervision, direction, or guidance.
Origin: Pure Entitlement: spoilt & indulged as children, and continue to behave this way into adulthood. Fragile Entitlement: “narcissistic”; feel entitled in order to overcompensate for underlying feelings of defectiveness and emotional deprivation. Dependent Entitlement: blending of both dependent & entitlement schemas; feelings entitled to be dependent on others to take care of them, & become angry when others fail to do so.